The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
