she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
