Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
