Kiss
Puke
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize