I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
