I think I won the penis lottery.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
