Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
