this beer tastes like vomit already
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
