Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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