My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
