Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
