I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
