I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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