i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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