I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sorry about my life...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
