Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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