Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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