You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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