Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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