he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
