Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
