Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize