We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
