Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
