her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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