i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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