Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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