Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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