I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
