he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
