It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
