I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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