Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
