I have demons in me.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
