Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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