it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's not cheating when I paid for it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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