so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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