Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
