You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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