Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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