You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
