We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he puts the penis in happiness.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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