This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
