Don't you send me to vm
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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