I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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