I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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