In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
