You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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