It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
