Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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