He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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