In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
