She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
