Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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