every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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