your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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