They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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