Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You can't motorboat a personality
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fuck appropriateness.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just googled if crying burns calories
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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