i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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