i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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