What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
