does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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