is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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