peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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