I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
