so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
