worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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