so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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