I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
