At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ketchup is God's man juice
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
a search helicopter?!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
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