Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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