Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
