im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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