Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
