what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
