when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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