So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
